A Russian word – “Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: ‘No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody or something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.’” (via ancient-serpent
Because I love saraharant, and I want a break from the tumultuous reality for a quick minute, I’ll do this. And because I know met-by-moonlight will do much better at this than I.
Five things about me.
5. I keep a running list of things that will prove I’m maturing. This includes when I stop getting a rush from flirting with my former music professor, when I can hear someone’s getting married without feeling personally abandoned and when I can open up my bank account without wincing.
4. Kurt Cobain was my first celebrity crush.
3. In a completely unrelated topic, my first boyfriend and I broke up because of his heroin addiction.
2. When someone asks me where “home” is now, my answer is “wherever my backpack is”.
1. The first time I read Captain Wentworth’s letter to Anne Elliott at the end of Austen’s Persuasion, I wept. I then wrote the letter in its entirety on the door frame of my room and memorized it.